I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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