I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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