I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
