Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
