that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
