i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
