I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
