He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I love you. Go after that dick
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
