I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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