I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize