I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
