i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
