I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
