It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
