So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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