Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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