You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
