i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
