i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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