now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
