just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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