Welp...herpes.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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