D3 body, D1 cock
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
