hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
