There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
