In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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