Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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