All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
