just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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