my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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