got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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