it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
