Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
