no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
