3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
