My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
