that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
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He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
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The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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