i can't believe i had my finger in that
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize