She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
