That's when you crack a 10am beer
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
