We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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