Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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