i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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