The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
