a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
