I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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