There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
