He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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