nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
