You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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