HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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