Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
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