He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
