You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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