11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize