is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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