Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
