Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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