i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize